Today made me think a lot.
Which I like to do but certainly not during lessons. Especially not before the exam period. I could barely concentrate during chemistry. Or during the rest of the day. I just wanted to sort out my feelings and thoughts. I'd sort out whatever that's bothering me first then get down to work. I'd never be able to concentrate properly if it were the other way round.
When the end of school was nearing, I was upset. Something was bothering me but i didn't know what. Something happened which i am too embarrassed to say here. At that point, I just wanted a warm hug. I was tempted to sms Haziqah for her really comforting hugs but I didn't. I didn't want to bother anyone because I didn't know why I was so sad in the first place.
Today made me think. And I've learned more about myself then ever.
I may be confused.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
beep bloop.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Ahhh!
I saw a bat! Outside the house! It's tiny so I'm guessing it's a baby. But I'm no experts on these things so don't take my word for it. What if it is a baby bat? Then it's mother won't be too far off. :O
Went to Sab's place after school. Ahaha! We went there just to hang out. But if you want the specifics, ask me. :D We didn't want to study but we ended up doing just that. Thanks to her mom. We were blasting music and were singing to it and then her mom opened the door and ask "Sabrinah, why so noisy?"
Inside, i went shitshitshit. So we calmed ourselves down and started doing work. We did it at first for show but wahey, we did our work. :D (pats back)
I vant you.
I saw a bat! Outside the house! It's tiny so I'm guessing it's a baby. But I'm no experts on these things so don't take my word for it. What if it is a baby bat? Then it's mother won't be too far off. :O
Went to Sab's place after school. Ahaha! We went there just to hang out. But if you want the specifics, ask me. :D We didn't want to study but we ended up doing just that. Thanks to her mom. We were blasting music and were singing to it and then her mom opened the door and ask "Sabrinah, why so noisy?"
Inside, i went shitshitshit. So we calmed ourselves down and started doing work. We did it at first for show but wahey, we did our work. :D (pats back)
I vant you.
Ah Kon.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
After a week of waiting for the SYF results, Mr Neo announced that we bagged a silver. *claps loudly* I don't think it's too bad but i still think we could have clinched a gold. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE OKAY. :D
It seems like I learn things about myself from other people. It's weird but when you think about it, you never know how you seem like from someone else's perspective.
What I learned about me:
It seems like I learn things about myself from other people. It's weird but when you think about it, you never know how you seem like from someone else's perspective.
What I learned about me:
- My face is capable of giving death threats and I could look stuck-up. The real reason behind this is, I'm feeling neutral/bored/tired at that moment. So the next time I seem scary or snobby, you might have to think twice 'cause you wouldn't know.
- Okay. This I really didn't expect. Some actually say I'm mysterious. Ahaha! It seems ironic to me. I always think I reveal too much about myself. But, it also seems nice to know that I'm not such an open book at the same time. The quiz I did revealed that I'm also private and shy which sooo doesn't sound like me. .... does it?
- Debbie says I can analyse people well based on their body language, voice tone and actions. :D I don't mind this because I just realised it and I think it's true.
We always thought we could hide everything. We were wrong.
"EYH"
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
It was embarrassing.
I was called up during english to read out my speech. You know, the speech I've been working days on. So there I was, standing, slightly trembling but ready to read. After a deep breath, I started reading it.
And what I heard was Fei Huang chuckling. I looked at his direction and saw that Shermei , Debbie and him were cracking up, faces red. I held my breath and tried to ignore them but I ended up laughing back at them instead. They looked silly and I probably looked silly laughing to myself.
Okay, laughing is how you would describe it nicely. I giggled, chuckled and my body shook so hard because I was trying to hold my breath and control it. I reminded myself to breathe, to calm myself down. But I would crack up again because the three of them were distracting me. So, overall, I looked like a fool. Thanks ah Debbie, Mei and FH. -.-
Mr Syafiq commented on that but at least he said my speech content and how I presented it (minus laughter) was enough to back me up.
MT is definitely brightening up. Not much work to do and so much laughter to pass around. It's distracting, I like. :B
Have you ever thought of that before? I've been thinking about it for some time now.
I was called up during english to read out my speech. You know, the speech I've been working days on. So there I was, standing, slightly trembling but ready to read. After a deep breath, I started reading it.
And what I heard was Fei Huang chuckling. I looked at his direction and saw that Shermei , Debbie and him were cracking up, faces red. I held my breath and tried to ignore them but I ended up laughing back at them instead. They looked silly and I probably looked silly laughing to myself.
Okay, laughing is how you would describe it nicely. I giggled, chuckled and my body shook so hard because I was trying to hold my breath and control it. I reminded myself to breathe, to calm myself down. But I would crack up again because the three of them were distracting me. So, overall, I looked like a fool. Thanks ah Debbie, Mei and FH. -.-
Mr Syafiq commented on that but at least he said my speech content and how I presented it (minus laughter) was enough to back me up.
MT is definitely brightening up. Not much work to do and so much laughter to pass around. It's distracting, I like. :B
Have you ever wondered if what you saw around you was pretend? If it was all in your head, your imagination? Maybe you built it as you were growing up. Your own world, haven and hell. Maybe the people around you aren't real. Maybe right now, you're living in someone else's body. Maybe you're actually living a dream.
Have you ever thought of that before? I've been thinking about it for some time now.
GREAT GOOGALI-MOOGALI!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Nickasaur! ^^
I spent the day dating the laptop. Watching "Hotel For Dogs" , blogging and finding music. So much for The Study Plan. The plan's probably giving me pity looks and tsk tsk tsk-ing me. Ah well! I'm doing science while at it. Multi-tasker mah. :)
I spent the day dating the laptop. Watching "Hotel For Dogs" , blogging and finding music. So much for The Study Plan. The plan's probably giving me pity looks and tsk tsk tsk-ing me. Ah well! I'm doing science while at it. Multi-tasker mah. :)
It's finally quiet in my head
As I lay the pieces at your feet
It's finally starting to make sense
Detention for Debbie, Sabrinah and me. Phoo-ey. It's a long story so I'm not gona go into it. I think someone drugged me, my mind's going HYPER. (hyperventilates) Teeheehee. :D
Word(s) of the day:
Superkalafragelisticexpialadociously cute.
xoxo.
Kill the heat man!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
"What up pipel! This is DJ Rock in the house ya!"
Nyahahaha. Yesterday was Speech & Carnival Day. As like the previous Speech & Carnival Days TPSS had, it was blistering hot and boring. One tour around the different stalls, and you can roughly know what stall sells what. 3E4 sold custom-designed shoes and were fairly popular. Thanks to SABRINAH and Tiara for the idea and shoes! :D
Spent like 6 bucks, i think, for charity. But the amount I spent is nothing compared to what Debbie spent. *Claps* It's all for charity, keep that in mind.
Anyway! I am not a happy customer at this particular stall which I will not name. They had this Haunted House thing going on and I was pretty curious so Faizah and me bought tickets. But! The line was freakin' long! We were number 87 and when we checked, they were at 60 something. But when we checked again, they were at 40 something. And if you ask me people, something does not add up here. Ah wells, it was $1.50 anyway (which reminds me, I owe faizah that much) and it was for a good cause. The service can go suck Popsicles lah.
After the whole event, Zul, Sab and me went over to Haziqah's (sorry Debbie!). We had lunch there (did I mention the food was great?!) and watched 1 and 1/4 movies. Nooo. That's not the title of the movie, we really did watch 1 and 1/4 of a movie. The second movie was such a bore that we didn't even bother to finish it up. Sab and me had to leave anyway so that's partly the reason. But believe me, if the movie was waaaay better i bet we would've stayed longer. The first movie was great though and I expected it to really freak me out based on what Haziqah told me but hey, I didn't scream as much as expected or wet my skivvies so... well done for me. :D
When I reached home, I could only read for a while before dozing off. I didn't even knew I was that tired until I woke up at around 10.30 (?) later.
So I skipped madrasah today. Bigadeal. I was still tired anyway. I've rested enough though, so I think if Debbie was here and did something silly, I'd laugh and join in.
I managed to finish up that malay compo. Yay! (pats back) But I've still got to revise and edit my English speech later on. Booooo. Speaking of revision! Ugh. I am sooo behind everyone. I need to catch up. So Debbie and me have devised a plan to do just that. Hopefully, we can even get to step one!
"You mah Soulja Boy, now tell 'em."
Nyahahaha. Yesterday was Speech & Carnival Day. As like the previous Speech & Carnival Days TPSS had, it was blistering hot and boring. One tour around the different stalls, and you can roughly know what stall sells what. 3E4 sold custom-designed shoes and were fairly popular. Thanks to SABRINAH and Tiara for the idea and shoes! :D
Spent like 6 bucks, i think, for charity. But the amount I spent is nothing compared to what Debbie spent. *Claps* It's all for charity, keep that in mind.
Anyway! I am not a happy customer at this particular stall which I will not name. They had this Haunted House thing going on and I was pretty curious so Faizah and me bought tickets. But! The line was freakin' long! We were number 87 and when we checked, they were at 60 something. But when we checked again, they were at 40 something. And if you ask me people, something does not add up here. Ah wells, it was $1.50 anyway (which reminds me, I owe faizah that much) and it was for a good cause. The service can go suck Popsicles lah.
After the whole event, Zul, Sab and me went over to Haziqah's (sorry Debbie!). We had lunch there (did I mention the food was great?!) and watched 1 and 1/4 movies. Nooo. That's not the title of the movie, we really did watch 1 and 1/4 of a movie. The second movie was such a bore that we didn't even bother to finish it up. Sab and me had to leave anyway so that's partly the reason. But believe me, if the movie was waaaay better i bet we would've stayed longer. The first movie was great though and I expected it to really freak me out based on what Haziqah told me but hey, I didn't scream as much as expected or wet my skivvies so... well done for me. :D
When I reached home, I could only read for a while before dozing off. I didn't even knew I was that tired until I woke up at around 10.30 (?) later.
So I skipped madrasah today. Bigadeal. I was still tired anyway. I've rested enough though, so I think if Debbie was here and did something silly, I'd laugh and join in.
I managed to finish up that malay compo. Yay! (pats back) But I've still got to revise and edit my English speech later on. Booooo. Speaking of revision! Ugh. I am sooo behind everyone. I need to catch up. So Debbie and me have devised a plan to do just that. Hopefully, we can even get to step one!
"You mah Soulja Boy, now tell 'em."
The update you've been looking for.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The past posts might have been confusing to you so I don't blame you if you don't understand them. I just needed to get them off my mind and let them flow into words. And what better way than my blog..
Anyway! On the 15th of April, it was to be my first and last ..... (jang jang jang) Drama SYF. The DramaInkers rushed up to the drama room and we were busy preparing. Ironing costumes, showering, make-up, hair, outfit, vocal training and lunch. By then, it was around 2.45 and we marched up and into the bus.
The weird thing, was that I wasn't even nervous. Not at all. I went up to stage, got the props ready and was just ready to kill the audience with our talent. During 2 scenes, my mind went "Scream!" and I did. I scared Debbie and Mr Syafiq with it. I never did it during rehearsals but it felt like I improved when I gave it my all.
I just wana say that we did an AWESOME job and we probably stole the limelight from the other schools based on the judges' reactions. :D
Thanks Jo! For all the effort you put in to polish us amateurs. We've all really improved and found our strengths. Thank you for volunteering to train us without pay because that was how much you cared. You've been a great teacher, instructor, listener and friend to all of us. We've grown very attached to you.
Thanks Lewin for all the support you gave us and accompanying Jo to train us. You've helped her and the whole of DramaInk in more ways than one and I really appreciate this.
Thanks to the teachers too for their care and effort. And thanks to Debbie for your support. I'm really really glad you were there to watch us because I felt more confident when you were there. Without even knowing it, you've helped me in ways I could never really explain. I love you for that.
Hokay. What briefly happened today. Vig, Elv, Mr Syafiq, Tiara, Sabrinah and me went to the Singapore Press Holdings on a course about Radio DJs. Learned alot about what happens in the studio and met Rod & The Married Men and Boy Thunder up close. We even got a few seconds of fame live on air. Cracked silly jokes with Sabrinah and dang, it was really fun with her. :D
There's Speech & Carnival Day tmr. I'm a little excited to see how things turn out. Hope it'll be at least worth half of my time!
"Um, like."
Anyway! On the 15th of April, it was to be my first and last ..... (jang jang jang) Drama SYF. The DramaInkers rushed up to the drama room and we were busy preparing. Ironing costumes, showering, make-up, hair, outfit, vocal training and lunch. By then, it was around 2.45 and we marched up and into the bus.
The weird thing, was that I wasn't even nervous. Not at all. I went up to stage, got the props ready and was just ready to kill the audience with our talent. During 2 scenes, my mind went "Scream!" and I did. I scared Debbie and Mr Syafiq with it. I never did it during rehearsals but it felt like I improved when I gave it my all.
I just wana say that we did an AWESOME job and we probably stole the limelight from the other schools based on the judges' reactions. :D
Thanks Jo! For all the effort you put in to polish us amateurs. We've all really improved and found our strengths. Thank you for volunteering to train us without pay because that was how much you cared. You've been a great teacher, instructor, listener and friend to all of us. We've grown very attached to you.
Thanks Lewin for all the support you gave us and accompanying Jo to train us. You've helped her and the whole of DramaInk in more ways than one and I really appreciate this.
Thanks to the teachers too for their care and effort. And thanks to Debbie for your support. I'm really really glad you were there to watch us because I felt more confident when you were there. Without even knowing it, you've helped me in ways I could never really explain. I love you for that.
____________________________
Hokay. What briefly happened today. Vig, Elv, Mr Syafiq, Tiara, Sabrinah and me went to the Singapore Press Holdings on a course about Radio DJs. Learned alot about what happens in the studio and met Rod & The Married Men and Boy Thunder up close. We even got a few seconds of fame live on air. Cracked silly jokes with Sabrinah and dang, it was really fun with her. :D
There's Speech & Carnival Day tmr. I'm a little excited to see how things turn out. Hope it'll be at least worth half of my time!
"Um, like."
Monday, April 13, 2009
The feeling comes at the most inappropriate of times. It chews you and spits you back out. It doesn't stop there though, it stomps on you, on your thoughts, on your will. And even after it's done, you know that it'll come back.
It's sick. Because you don't mind. You welcome it and you let it hurt you. To remind you of the pain others caused to you. Because the scar is still there. Fresh and deep. And you can't do anything because it was done. And it's too late to change it now. But you still feel the pain.
You'd do anything to let your hurt be known but you're good at controlling it. But all that control has taken it's toll. On you. So you block people out and try to be polite. To protect them from the rage that's taken over you.
It's sick. Because you don't mind. You welcome it and you let it hurt you. To remind you of the pain others caused to you. Because the scar is still there. Fresh and deep. And you can't do anything because it was done. And it's too late to change it now. But you still feel the pain.
You'd do anything to let your hurt be known but you're good at controlling it. But all that control has taken it's toll. On you. So you block people out and try to be polite. To protect them from the rage that's taken over you.
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
-To kill a Mockingbird
__________________________________
I try to be cheerful but as soon as I reach home,
the mask slips off.
And I can't contain my emotions anymore.
To feel.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Inject me with emotion.
I don't know if I've felt too little or too much.
All I know now, is how numb I feel.
Show me sad stories,
cause I don't have the energy to know how it feels like when I cry anymore.
Throw your problems at me,
let it out and let me absorb it.
I feel like my soul has been drained dry of any emotion.
I feel so inhuman.
How can I even say that when I don't feel anything.
Punch me with sharp words.
Maybe, by then I can cry it all out.
I feel so empty and it's proven by my inability to let tears run.
To feel.
You the pot calling the kettle black.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
STOP.
Reminding me how much I've changed.
You haven't known me for very long, so don't judge me so fast.
You complain of my actions, the way I talk, how I behave.
So much that it's come to a point where I know what you want to tell me,
even before you finish your first sentence.
You make me feel down.
And you expect me to think it's okay for you to thrash me with those piercing words.
What's worse is that you're not aware of how much you've changed.
You don't see your mistakes, you only see mine.
I hate the rude things you've said.
The rude things you've did.
And you walk around pretending you've done nothing wrong.
I put space between us so I won't lose my patience with you.
But somehow, you've managed to squeeze through the small holes I couldn't cover.
Updown.
Monday, April 6, 2009
It was raining today.
It looked so peaceful despite it crashing onto the earth.
It looked so peaceful compared to the thoughts
that stormed within me the previous day.
___________________________________
Sab and me went to take our I/C photos today. We were so worried about the how the photos would turn out but it looka like we didn't have to worry after all. Our photos sucked anyway and it's all thanks to the rookie photographer. F. She used the type of camera that people would use to take family photos. She didn't even use a camera stand!
So our photos turned out to be terrible and we had to dig out 9 bucks for those fugly shots. That would be used for the rest on our lives. The things we do as proud Singaporeans. *AHEM*
We rushed back to drama and gosh. I was damn hyper. For some weird reason, adrenaline was pumped inside me. I think it was because I'd been containing them for the whole day. :D
*Note: Mr Ang is an I.D.I.O.T and can go bore someone else for all I care.
But let's end this off with a quote I got via email. :
"There are moments in life when you miss someone.
So much that you just want to pick them from your dreams
and hug them for real"
Spill out.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I've lost a friend who couldn't keep her promises.
I left her because being with her was too much of a heartache.
She never seemed to care while i silently suffered.
Keeping this secret from her was hard,
it tore me into half.
Being pulled by what i wanted
and what friendship was about.
You hide your feelings
when you don't want anyone else to know about it.
And you hide it 'cause you don't want to hurt someone
just like how they hurt you.
Because what you want to tell her is poison that could kill.
And you just want to spit all that acid out
but doing so would hurt her
and whatever chance of a friendship you had left with her.
But I'm tired of hiding what I've thought about you.
100th.
Friday, April 3, 2009
To my heartbeat.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
And when i fall asleep,
I dream of you and the visions of you,
they keep me warm at my coldest.
Bright colours
they swirl inside me like waves crashing.
I feel them in each thought of you,
they tease my heart.
There's something about you
that leaves me wondering, thinking
About you and what you think of.
And wanting more.
"You hollow out my hungry eyes"
_________________________________________
Malay oral was serious shit. I kept on squeezing my hand under the table and kept stuttering and using broken malay. I admit, i was horrible but Che' Tom didn't have to rub her temples and close her eyes as if to show she was sleeping. Yes, that's what she did. Ugh. Talk about examiner etiquette. Ahh. Byebye 40 marks. (flushes down the toilet)
Anyway,I'e fallen in love with Dear Juliet, a new band I'm currently listening to. The guy who sings the songs, Chase Coy, is damn good looking lah. And has this really angelic voice that makes you feel calm all over. So if anybody has his music, send it to me kay! ;)
