What it's not about

I'm blabbing in this post. You don't have to read this if your not up for a post on a girl woe-ing okay?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Three Cheers for my 51st post. Wow.

I know i haven't been posting as much and i have good reasons for that. I don't really want to post because I'm not sure if most of 2e1 has read my post. You know, just in case they get the message late and all. Also, i have things to tell but i don't really know how to explain them. Everything's just kinda jumbled up.

My 51st post came at an appropriate time because now i have two things to celebrate about. My 51st post and my birthday. Now, if you have read my profile, it says there that my birthday's on Halloween. For my whole life, I've always been excited for the day that officially tells me I'm getting old but this year, I'm not quite. And it's not because i know I'm getting old (what a drag), it's more like because i don't really have the mood to celebrate me getting old. I'm not sure why, but for some time, things only strike me when some days have passed.

Like during the barbecue, exams, birthday. And i just started noticing it. Am i crazy? Anyway, after all that blah, i want to talk about what i came here for.

I feel really guilty because of my low grades and still i wana celebrate my birthday?? This year is the second most important exam, besides the O's. And i got freaking low marks at them. I wanted to please my mom with my marks but i may end up disappointing her real bad. She was so excited to know my exam results, which she still is clueless about. I haven't told her - yet. I'm afraid. So i told her I'm getting my results tomorrow, when i get to know which class i go to which might help me gather some kind excuse.

This was how the conversation went with her yesterday about my results and the birthday party.

M: "I'm sorry Batrisyiah, but i can't take leave for you to celebrate your birthday with you on Friday"

A: (shocked) "Huh? Uh, never mind. (Real quietly) My friends said they want to take me out to celebrate my birthday with them."

M: "Is it? Then go lah (she starts smiling that makes me feel guiltier). "

A: "But I'm getting my results tomorrow"

M: "Nevermind ah. You can tell me later"

Yes, my mum calls me Batrisyiah at home. And see how guilty the conversation is for me! Gahhh. She doesn't know how freaking terrible my results are! And she's so sweet! Later that night, she told me she really hopes i do well and the twinkling eyes dropped a bomb in my stomach. She saw my face and she immediately added "but if you don't do so well, it's okay. I don't want to expect so much really. You do your best can already" I did do my best! Well, at least i think i did. But my results really didn't show it. I was kind of hoping that i got the wrong papers when i saw them. Bloody hell.

How to celebrate like that, man? I could probably just celebrate first and then worry right? Right, i don't know if I'm able to celebrate without a care. In the back of my mind, I'd still be thinking about what would happen later. But anyway, i think is should celebrate. Try to take my mind away for a while. And my friends have planned something i think (it's a surprise, so I'm not really sure. i just know they have ideas) .

Friends have told me "you may get into e2","i think you'll get into e4", "most likely you'll get into e3 lah". Like how do they know?! Gahhh. I want to get in 3e2 so freaking badly! Anyway, tomorrow's the day when i get to see who's going to what class and ima try find whoever's getting in the same slass with me.

A friend told me this:

" You have to balance your happiness and sadness cause if you're really happy at one point, your gona be really sad the next"

Shit, man. Shit.

Goodbye Power Rangers! See ya'll next time.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It finally it me yesterday that 2e1 of year '08 is no more. I think it was because i started reflecting about the class gathering just yesterday. I think we had the most fun together as a class, on Deepavali. Thanks to the people who turned up and sorry for the sudden leave.
I wana say these to the people who especially had an impact on me during the bbq. :

Shi Hao:
Do you really cook that much? Cool man! This guy can tell when the food is fully cooked and i couldn't. Pathetic right i. -_-

Naufal:
For entertaining us with your anyhow "music" and making us laugh silly. Alamakkkk, next year no little boy anymore man.

Brandon :) ! :
Thanks for trying to save my eyes with the clear water ah! Thanks also for getting the slice of pizza for me and knowing i was upset when no one else did. Thank you soooo much! Who's gona scream "slut" and moan in class now? :(

Marshall:
For knowing about the wrong source of info of gossip. Msn and ask me!

Zuhri:
Uh..here goes. Thanks for being a friendlier/nicer idiot. And thanks for letting me hit you with waterbombs! Kay lah, sorry lah okay?

Brian:
For making a bigger fire even when it was pouring and for not being sarcastic like you usually are.

Shermei:
Who accompanied me to as far as we could go to in the ocean.

Thanks to those who came! Keep in touch lah huh! :)

I need to post on something else asap!

To 2e1 2008, thanks and sorry.

Friday, October 24, 2008

This is a message to all 2008 2E1 people. First, let me warn you that this is a really long post so you may one to read my message to you only. Forgive my spelling mistakes if any ah. Tell me you've read it on msn or on the message box on top so i'll know who's read it. Thanks lah huh!

Aizan :Thanks for being my friend, for accompanying me and for sharing secrets. Thanks also for the intelligent conversations and your infectious laughter syiok okay!

Debbie: The great artist who used to want to be goth. (Yes, i remember) Sorry for the accidental pull of the keychain ah.

Jia Yi:Thanks for being like my big sister! Love youuu. Sorry for not communicating in chinese with you ah. Dui bu qi lah hor.

Shermei: Meimei! Like a kid sister! Thanks for being funny and playful. So patient with me when i was so blur and didn't mind sharing your stuff with me. Love youuuuu

Kimberly: Thanks for teaching me maths man! Sat there with me until i understood! Congratulations for your class position!

Jia Xin: Thanks for being so patient with me. I'm sorry for the Lit thing. Thank you Jia Xin! And congrats for your exam.

Juan Hui: Thanks for teaching me the basics of playing volleyball! Sorry if i didn't talk to you as much.

Yu Hua( Jade): Thanks for being my friend who always laughed at my jokes no matter how lame they were!

Sabrinah: Thanks fo partnering up with me to make the _____! Thanks for streaking your hair with me! Thanks for being a good girlfriend! XOXOXO Sorry for last year lah hun.

Jennifer: Thanks for never scolding me and always laughing lahhhh! Smart somemore!

Zhen Qi: Thanks for laughing with meee! Haiyo. So organised for what ah Zhen Qi? Tsk, tsk, tsk. xD

Celine: Thanks for being my friend! So patient with me. Thanks for learning volleyball with me and thanks for introducing me to Beach Ball Babes and all the other 9 o'clock shows!

Afiq/Ezzudin: Thanks for being a friend in class. Joke so much. Thanks for taking part in UrbanTrail. Distract teacher alot. lol. Thanks for making lessons a little more intersting/relaxing. Sorry for being mean to you sometimes okay?

Brandon: Thanks for being my awesome friend!

Jerry (Chieh Jui) : Thanks for always laughing lah okay!xD

Fei Huang: Thanks for being a good friend! Your funny accent makes me laugh loads! Xiexie ni Huang Fei Huang. (Yellow Dragon isit?)

Javan: My blur friend! Thanks for not making me look so blur oso. Lol. Improve so much ah! Congrats man.

Qiang Wei: Thanks for being the "good one" in class. We really needed someone to fill the good boy position in class. Sorry for not getting to know you as much.

Kenny: Thanks for being so quiet and noisy at the right time. :)

Brian: Mr. Sarcastic. Thanks for your jokes!

Marshall: Thanks for teaching me soooooo much! My second teacher in class. Thanks for being my good friend also. Sorry for being mean to you sometimes.

Akmal: Thanks for being my classmate. And a good student councillor.

Shahrul: Thanks for being the playful one. You make us laugh so much man.

Hakim: Thanks for being a good student councillor. And i'm sorry if we didn't get to become friends.

Khairul: I'm sorry, i don't know what register number you are in. Anyway, thanks for keeping the class quiet by saying "shut up lah!" and for keeping the class clean volountarily!

Chong Teng: Thanks for being my classmate and being so outspoken. See you in Korea! ^^

Bing Jie: Thanks for playing the school song and national anthem almost every wednesday morning for the school.

Shi Hao: Thanks for being a really really nice friend! Wah, on msn tralk so much but in real life so shy ah!

David: Thanks for teaching me stuff when i don't understand and thanks also for keeping Zhi Wei company in class and getting him into trouble. Lol.

Zhi Wei: Thanks for being like a grandpa to Marisa and me! So patient and niceeee. Sorry if we always came late to meet you in the morning ah! Ni Zhi Wei!Thanks sooo much for being a really nice friend in class and lending your correction tape/liquid! Thanks for being one of my good male buddies lah huh! ^^

Ze Lin: Thanks for being so funny! Your actions so funny and sometimes cuuute! And thanks for helping out with the Art Articulation!

Cherwin: Thanks for being such a friend. Thanks for the good times and thanks for doing the ipws for us.

Naufal: Thanks for being the "little boy" in class! On thelast day of school, you were especially funny lah okay!

Paul: Thanks printing the pictures for me! Thanks for letting me make fun of you. x P Thanks for being a good male buddy.

Zuhri: Thanks for being my classmate and always entertaining Faizah and Aizan. Especially Faizah. Sorry for...not getting to be friends. Sorry for all the insulsts lah okay?? xP

And finally , thanks to my best friends, Faizah and Marisa who were always there for me when i really needed me. Thanks for accepting such a big emotional baggage. I admit, i wasn't such a good friend as i could have been. I'm sorry soooo very very much for getting angry suddenly sometimes. I really hope i can get into the same class with at least one of you! The both of you are like crutches, you help me get up and let me stand even though things just seem out of place and wrong. I really don't know how to say thanks to you and how to show my appreciation to both of you. Amalina loveeeeeeeeee FaizahMarisa alot lah okay! Kiss kiss, hug hug.

Faizah: My best friend since Secondary 1. Thanks for always being so patient with me until it became tiring. Thanks for being so generous with your patience, time and food. :D Thanks for explaining stuff for me, especially in Malay class! I hope you'll be in the same malay class with me cause i'm not sure if i'll get to meet such a patient friend! Thanks for helping the class by booking the barbecue pit. Thanks for all those good times and sorry for all the bad times. I'm sorry i wasn't patient like you were with me. Thanks for sharing secrets, problems and accepting me for who i am, even though i'm not into band like you are. Thanks for letting me your best friend. I really, really, really love you a lot more than you think i do.

Marisa: Thanks for getiing to know and letting me get to know you. Thanks for meeting me every morning and waiting and waiting for me even when i'm really late and you know you'd get into trouble too and for being stubborn when i told you to go without me. Thanks for spending as much time with me as possible. Thanks for tahan-ing with Faizah and me during the fasting month. Thanks for teaching some chinese and hokkien words. Thanks for always laughing at my jokes, being my joke and giving me jokes. I want to be in the same class with you ! Then i'll have a really good buddy with me. Thanks for letting me be one of the special people in your life. Thanks for being my other shoulder and support. Thanks for not foloowing the corwd and for tolerating my annoying behaviours and wacky personality. Alamak, i'm gona miss you lahhhh.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Message to Two-E-Oners.

I received my report book yesterday and i got a percentage that didn't satisfy me. It was a 63-something%. I think i'll most likely go 3e4? But i'm hoping at least 3e3.
Anyway, i don't really feel like talking about percentages, marks, grades and what shit. So i'll talk about class.
I'm really gona miss some people. Okay, most. All the way from Aizan to Zuhri. Okay, slash Zuhri. I don't know why but i had no emotions for yesterday being the last day of school with the whole of 2e1 '08. Maybe it just never occurred to me how it'll feel like to be separated. Now i have that squeezing feeling in my tummy. It's like being in Sec1 again, making new friends, getting used to new people. Now that the holidays are fully on "on" mode, it feels kind of weird to know that i'll never see the same people in class again.
It's kinda funny how i only get to remember all those funny,angry,embarrassing moments we had as a class in a class. 2e1 is like a sanctuary i'm not ready to leave yet. Adventure camps, art articulation, workshops, remedials, CIP at Bedok etc just seem to far away. It's like its never happened before. Rethink of what we've gone through since last year and now, today. Different right? More matured, naughtier, bonded. Maybe not as close as we want to be but definitely closer than how we were in Sec1.
Let's forget all the bad reputations and let people start new ones, even better ones. Remember only the teachers and whatever that you've been pleased with throughout the year.
Wah cow, so cheesy man.
Let the holidays rolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. :) See you at the class gathering. Eh no, the last class gathering. Or see you next year.
XOXOXOXOXOXO.

Hair streaks make me go wiiiiiiilllldddddd! ^^

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I went to the Science Centre just now with the rest of 2E and 2NA. It was quite fun and a nice way to waste time. :D I mean, instead of being stuck and bored at home, we managed to squeeze some fun out of school today. Too bad for those who puropsely skipped school today huh?

I bought Spy Glasses for my brother and a light-up pen for when i go to Korea ?(then i can blog on my diary since we're not allowed to bring laptops there) . Sabrinah and I shared money to buy.........HAIR MASCARA. It was at $4.90 and its magenta(dark pink). When on my hair, its purple. :D

It can wash off after washed with water. I love it! Oh shoot, my mom has come to conquer the laptop. BYEEEEEE.

I hate the word "rant"

Monday, October 20, 2008

Faizah didn't come to school today. Found out it was because she was tired from her Malacca trip. -.-

Anyway! Today was fine. Nothing hectic;just plain chillaxing at school. During literature, we had to watch "Money No Enough 2" with 1e5. Walao. They so noisy eh! Shouting and screaming (boys mostly). I was kind of embarrassed when Afiq went shouting too and tried acting cool. Everyone can see through it so just quit okay? -____-

There's this boy, Cameron, in 1e5 who i thought was okay and had no problem with. Until today that is. There wasn't enough seats in the AVA room so instead of trying to be smart and sitting on the floor where no fuss would be made, he sat on the tables and laps of his friends. Okay, more like lying down. He think he princess is it? -_____- When the teacher told him to get off, he told her "There's no seat" so she said sit on the floor. He got off and made one of the boys/friends get off his seat so Cameron could put his princess-y ass there and the boy had to sit on the floor.

We had a loooooooooooooooooooooongggggggggggggggggggggg talk after recess. Bla bla bla bla.
I didn't go with Marisa today and it felt kind of weird. She forgot to say "bye". Went off to complete part of my secret. I hope you haven't forgotten my secret. I've been mentioning it before the exams. It's coming together and that makes me so proud! :)

The class gathering is on its way and 2E1 hasn't shown much cooperation. Half the class will turn up for the barbecue even though its going to be the last year we have together. We had some people who wanted the date of the BBQ to be changed and that made me frustrated wit them. I mean, Celine and me have been putting a lot of effort into planning and some people can just totally ruin it or slow the process down. After Debbie kept trying to tell the class that the BBQ will be on the 25th via the whiteboard even though its not, i just kept it erasing it and at that point, i felt like slapping her. Mrs Chng saw through the commotion and stopped her. There's no hairstyling on the class gathering day so stop worrying so much Debbie.

*Xiang Guang's cool hairdo rocks. :)

Bad day.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today when i got my results, they weren't what i expected them to be. They were very low and i'm not happy with them. Re-exam can??

Lousy , sucky marks that can't get me to 3e1. Maybe i should relook at my coices for 3e3. I flunked Freaking maths. I studied, maybe not as much as i could have but those who didn't study got ridiculously high marks! Now i really know what my uncle maens by it's better to cry before than after.

I shouldn't have used the laptop during the exam week. I shouldn't even have gone near them. I really regret not studying hard enough. It cost me my marks and probably my future. I'm not being dramatic or exaggerating. I mean, what if i get into a lousy class then i totally can't study, get more playful, mix with the wrong company? Then what??

I know it's hard for me to push myself. It'll be harder if i get into a playful class. I have to push myself. Focus on one thing - my studies. Soi'm gona start as soon as i get hold of time and some studying materials. If i can't get good/great marks, i can forget about working. If i studied hard, finding a job would be a breeze. Let my parents worry about money. It's my time to study smart. It's time to wake up from fantasies. For now, it has been a little too late.

*Well dones to Marisa Namdee and Faizah Safe.

I.AM.BACK.Baby.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I'm back after such a long tine. Today is officially the last day of the exams. Meaning i'm free from constant headaches! :D

Anyway,i've got so much to tell! Unfortunately, i forgot most of them. ; X

I'm going to Korea!! :D So excited! Ima be staying in a comfortable hotel and all i had to pay was $346 instead of the $1300. Futhermore, it's from my edusave account. The only problem is, we have to buy winter clothing cause it's gona be winter when we go there on the 24th of november. And the clothes are pretty damn expensive! I went to the winter clothing store in Simei and the pretty winter jacket is one-three-eight freaking dollars! And the gloves and beanie are at $20 each and the Long Johns (one-piece suit worn underneateh the winter clothes to keep warm durin winter) are another hacking$59 which is the cheapest there for good quality. Mr Au Yong said we have to get good quality so we won't freeze there. There was the Long John but the top only for $12.90. Suspicious. "Made in China". No wonder. Damn you exhorbitant (overly exaggeratedly expensive) prices!

Okay, fine, so we only checked one store which seemed unfairly priced and other stores could have lower prices but so what? So, if you happen to find winter stores which have good prices/sales, please tell me okay? I'd really appreciate it. :D The overly priced items have led to another problem, a job. I wana get a job so i won't feel as guilty when i splurge on it in Korea. I mean, my mom and dad already have to save up for my brother's overseas trip and it seems unfair if i have to add to their burden. But it is kinda unfair for my brother to have gone to two overseas trips and another one on the way and me having only gone to one overseas trip not yet including the Korea. I asked my mom if i could get a job and the way i said it wasn't organised and smooth as i would have liked it to be so everything just blew out of proportions. It's very hard to find jobs at 14! So if anyone has jobs for 14 year olds with reasonable pay, tell me please!

I wanted to talk about my exams and i think i did in them but well, forget it. What has happened, happened. For now, ima forget about the exams and let the holidays roll.